


I Will Not Kiss You

by im_a_lime



Category: BLURRYFACE - Twenty One Pilots (Album), Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Angst?, F/M, Feels, Fluff, Get ready for angst, I Don't Even Know, I love fluff, Joshler?, Jyler?, Lots of Angst, M/M, Tysh?, Very angst, im not even prepared for all the angst, smut?, tons of angst, who knows whats gunna happen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-14
Updated: 2016-11-18
Packaged: 2018-08-14 23:38:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8033461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/im_a_lime/pseuds/im_a_lime
Summary: GET READY FOR SOME ANGST GUYS. Plus fluff to make you feel good.This is one of those that will make you smile like an idiot then bawl your eyes out.





	1. Chapter 1

“I must'a forgot, you can't trust me  
I'm open a moment and close when you show it,  
Before you know it I'm lost at sea  
And now that I write and think about it  
And the story unfolds  
You should take my life  
You should take my soul”

Tyler gripped the microphone as he sang, Josh’s drumming pumping through his veins. He could feel the music in his body, he could feel the crowd as they sang along. He felt every soul in the room, and it filled him with life.

He inhaled sharply, breathing in the energy. He tossed the mic into the air, catching it effortlessly. As his face scanned the crowd, he saw so much joy in everyone’s eyes. “I love you all!” he shouted, before running behind his piano.

“You are surrounding all my surroundings  
Sounding down the mountain range  
Of my left-side brain  
You are surrounding all my surroundings  
Twisting the kaleidoscope  
Behind both of my eyes”

Lights danced around him, and his heart leapt when the audience called “I’ll be holding onto you!” He glanced at Josh, who was also smiling, while bangin’ away at the drums. Tyler wiped a bead of sweat from his brow, and climbed on top of the piano.

“JOSHUA DUN ON THE DRUMS!” He called, and the crowd erupted in screams and applause. It was a storm, lights flashed as Josh’s sticks smashed the drums, creating the most beautiful thunder. Tyler’s heart was pounding. Josh was his thunderstorm, and he was the rain. His voice washed over the crowd, and they all danced.

“Remember the moment  
You know exactly where you're goin'  
'Cause the next moment before you know it  
Time is slowin' and it's frozen still-”

Suddenly, everything was spinning, and the room was going dark. Tyler could no longer feel the music. In fact, Tyler could no longer feel himself.

_He felt like he was floating away._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAVE SO MUCH ANGST FOR YOU GUYS
> 
> Comments are much appreciated and I promise I read & respond to all. I live for comments.
> 
> Thank you for reading <3
> 
> EDIT: Hey sorry, I copy-pasted the lyrics for HOTY and some of them were very wrong. My apologies, I swear I know how the song goes lol.


	2. Chapter 2

Tyler sat in the passenger seat, with Josh behind the wheel. Trees blurred past them as their van sped down the highway. 

“Do you mind?” Tyler asked, resting his finger on the window button. 

“Nah, go for it,” Josh waved his hand nonchalantly before turning up the radio, and Tyler proceeded to roll down his window about halfway. The van filled with the sound of moving air, and he pushed his hand out to feel the wind. 

“Joshie, do you think we’re good enough?” His fingers swam in the wind to match the music 

“Tyler…” Josh looked at him for as long as the road would allow. “Of course.” He reassured him, reaching over to rest a hand on Tyler’s shoulder. But Tyler wasn’t looking at Josh, he was watching his hand float out the window. 

“Watching you on stage is the most amazing thing I’ve ever experienced.” Josh continued, his hand now resting on the back of Tyler’s neck. “All your fans adore you! They really do Ty. You can see it in the way they sing for you, and all the fan art they make! And our shows just keep getting better and better.”

Tyler nodded, and ever so slowly, a smile crept onto his face. “They do like us a lot, don’t they?” He finally turned his gaze to Josh, who grinned back at him. 

“That’s right, they do!” 

“We make such a good team, Josh.” Tyler beamed, feeling energetic. The sun was shining brightly through the windshield, lighting up Josh’s hair and putting a sparkle in his eyes. He looked electric. 

“Heck yeah we do!” Josh smiled, pressing his foot a little harder into the gas. They sped forward, feeling infinite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of these will be kinda short, but its so I can update more frequently.
> 
> Much love, 
> 
> Lime <3


	3. Chapter 3

Josh bounced and flowed with the rhythm, hitting the drums at the perfect beat to compliment Tyler’s singing. He smiled as he watched Tyler; he looked really happy. He could tell the music was just flowing through him. He lit up, eyes glued to the crowd of people, pouring their hearts out for Tyler. 

Josh was so proud of him. He had made it so far, and worked so hard. Josh knew Tyler was special, but he couldn’t help but notice Tyler didn’t seem to see it in himself. So seeing Tyler lit up with joy as the crowd adored him, and joined him in his music, was the most incredible thing Josh could witness. Tyler flashed him a big smile, and yelled “JOSHUA DUN ON THE DRUMS!” Josh felt like he was flying, high in the sky. Of course he loved their fans, and he loved their music, and he loved the thrill of being on stage- even though it scared the crap out of him. But that wasn’t the reason he was here. No; he was here for Tyler. 

Tyler was everything. From the moment they met, Tyler had consumed Josh. He was stunned just watching Tyler live his life. The way he pulled music out of the air, the beautiful things he created. Tyler was magic, and Josh would follow him to the ends of the earth. 

Suddenly, Josh was pulled out of his train of thought. Something was wrong. 

Tyler had stopped singing, and Josh scanned the stage to find him. When he couldn’t see him, he frantically stood up, cutting the rhythm from the air. To his horror, Tyler was collapsed on the stage, his mic slowly rolling towards the crowd of screaming souls. 

Josh nearly knocked over his drums rushing to Tyler’s side, stumbling to the ground next to him.

“Tyler?” He carefully cradled his head, not wanting to hurt him. He looked around frantically, crew members rushing around on the stage. Everything was a blur. The backing music had stopped, and the crowd had fallen silent. 

“Josh, we’ve got an ambulance on the way, okay?” Mark was suddenly kneeling next to Josh, an arm over his shoulder. Josh nodded, too terrified to ask what could possibly have happened to Tyler, who was lying motionless on the floor. Josh had one hand cradling his head, and he reached down to hold Tyler’s hand with the other. At Josh’s touch, Tyler’s eyelashes fluttered, and his body jumped a little.

“J-j-josh?” He stuttered out, fully opening his eyes now.

“I’m here.” He said, squeezing Tyler’s hand as paramedics swarmed around them, strapping Tyler to a spine board. Josh moved back to let them do their job, and saw panic rise up in Tyler’s eyes.

“Don’t leave me Josh!”

“I won’t! I won’t. I’m here, okay? I’m staying right next to you.” He kept his hand in Tyler’s, and the paramedics prepared to lift Tyler.

“Wait, the fans!” Tyler called. 

“Um, wait just, wait.” Josh said, “Don’t lift him yet, just one second.” Josh stood up and looked around, grabbing the mic that Tyler had dropped. 

“I’m, uh, very sorry guys,” Josh’s voice shook as he addressed the crowd. “Ty needs me, so i’m gunna go with him and make sure he’s okay. Thanks for understanding.” He nodded at the crowd, then turned to nod at the paramedics, who lifted Tyler and carried him off the stage. Josh jogged to catch up with them, not wanting to let Tyler out of his sight. 

“We’re gunna make sure you’re okay.” Josh said in a soothing voice, keeping eye contact with Tyler the entire time they loaded him into the ambulance.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is really late, and probably could've been written a lot better :/

Josh paced uncomfortably around the hospital room.

“He’s...He’s gunna be okay. Right?” Josh nervously questioned the nurse, who was handing Tyler a flimsy hospital gown and instructing him to leave his clothes on the bed. 

“Sir, we really won’t know Mr. Joseph’s condition until after some tests.” She looked back and forth between the boys with sympathy. “We’ve got a CT scan scheduled, and that should help us check out what’s going on inside Tyler.” She glanced over her clipboard and redirected her attention back to Tyler. “You seem to be underweight, have you been eating regularly?” 

“Uhh, I guess not. I’ve been on tour ‘n stuff. My stomach just hasn’t been reacting well and I guess I’ve been getting carsick from all the time on the road.” The nurse began scrawling notes on Tyler’s chart.

“Ty! You’ve gotta be kidding me.” Josh rushed over to look over the nurse's shoulder at her clipboard, hoping it would tell him something- anything- about what was happening with Tyler. She defensively turned a bit and pressed the clipboard against her chest. 

“Is that a symptom of something? Is he going to be alright?” Josh asked again, fidgeting with his hands. 

“I’ll leave you to change,” she addressed Tyler, with a quick side glance at Josh. “We’ll know more after the tests.” and with that, she left the room. 

Josh worriedly looked at Tyler. He was seated on the hospital bed, swinging his legs and looking out the window. He did look underweight… How hadn’t he noticed? His arms looked so thin, his frame was small and hunched. 

“Tyler.” Josh stepped closer, and placed his hands on Tyler’s knees. “Tyler I, uh.. Well I… Oh god Tyler is everything okay? Shit, no, I shouldn’t be freaking out. I should be comforting you, um-”

“JOSHIE.” Tyler yelled, smiling for the first time since waking up. Josh unsteadily smiled back, comforted that Tyler was using a nickname, it took a bit of the seriousness out of the air. “Calm down. Seriously. I probably just fainted from not eating enough, ‘kay?” 

Josh slowly nodded as he processed Tyler’s words. Yes, that made sense, everything was fine. Tyler just needed to eat more. He could handle that. 

“Yeah, okay.” He smiled a little bigger now. “I just don’t want anything-”

Tyler cut him off by placing a finger up to his lips. Tyler tried not to notice how soft Josh’s lips were against his skin. 

“Don’t even say that stuff, Jish. I won’t allow it! Now, turn around or somthin’ I gotta change.” Tyler weakly shoved against Josh’s chest to push him away, without success. Josh simply leaned closer and wrapped his arms around Tyler. 

“I love you Ty.” 

Josh said the words so easily. They had said they loved each other a thousand times by now, and it rolled off his tongue as easily as his name. However, the Josh figured his words carried much more meaning than Tyler would ever know. 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“Mr. Joseph?”

Tyler was sitting in a thin hospital gown, looking small, staring at the pale hospital wall. 

“Mr. Joseph, can you hear me?”

Tyler did not move, did not blink. The doctor’s voice was simply static, a blur in the background. Tyler wasn’t really in the hospital, he was on stage. Staring at the thousands upon thousands of people 

He was trying to feel the music. He just wanted to feel the rush of music in his veins. 

But his vessels felt cold and empty. The crowd looked at him with disappointment in their eyes. They say the eyes are the window to the soul, but Tyler felt as if his audience’s eyes were a mirror to his own soul. 

“Mr. Joseph, do you understand what I’m trying to tell you?” The doctor asked again, with no success. The doctor called in a nurse, but Tyler didn’t hear their conversation. All he could hear was a thick silence, a definitive lack of music. 

Moments later, something changed. Tyler felt a rhythm in the room, he could feel it in his heartbeat. He snapped his head up and turned to see Josh seated next to him. 

Josh looked into Tyler’s eyes, so dark that they almost looked black… void. There was a void in his eyes. 

“Tyler?” he asked, reaching out to gently grab his hand. The stage slowly melted away, and Tyler blinked a few times. 

“Joshie… I have cancer.”


	5. Chapter 5

"FUCK!" Josh exclaimed in shock. He pulled Tyler into a hug, and refused let go or loosen his grip. He was stunned, how could someone just suddenly faint one day and have cancer? He didn't understand, it didn't make sense to him. Tyler stayed silent, still numbly staring off in the distance.

"We're going to fix this, we'll get you better, okay Ty?" Josh squeezed him a little tighter. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you." He really couldn't imagine anything happening to Tyler, if he lost Tyler....well, he was trying not to even let his mind go there.

"How do we make him better." Josh demanded, looking up at the Doctor.

"Well, we'll set up a treatment plan and I'll walk you through all of that. But how about for right now I give you two some privacy?" He stood up and made his way to the door, "I'll be back in 15 minutes with some papers for you."

The door closed behind the doctor, and Josh returned his attention to Tyler.

"I'm going to make sure this is okay." Tyler simply pressed his face into Josh's chest and allowed himself to cry.

Eventually Josh sunk to the floor and pulled Tyler into his lap. "I know," he soothed, "I'm so sorry, Ty."

He didn't know what else he could say, so he simply continued to hold him while he cried violently.

* * *

"We have to get back on the road, we have a show tomorrow." Tyler said, stuffing a handful of clothes into his duffel bag. 

"Ty! You know we can't do that. We'll cancel the rest of the tour. You need to be in the hospital." 

"Theres hospitals all over, Josh, I can keep going." Tyler continued throwing stuff at his bag. They'd agreed to spend that night in a hotel instead of on the bus. However, Josh thought it was "We'll stay the night in the hotel, then get to a hospital closer to home." and Tyler seemed to think it was "We'll stay the night in the hotel, then continue touring like nothing was wrong."

"Tyler. This is serious. You need to get better."

"Why, Josh? So I can rot in a hospital bed?! What the hell kind of life is that anyways. If I'm going to be alive, I'm going to spend that time doing music. I need it. I NEED it to SURVIVE. I need it."

"Yeah, well maybe I need you." Josh huffed. "Did you ever think about that?" 

Tyler simply stared at Josh, unsure of what to do. He felt like yelling, he felt like screaming, he felt like crying, he felt like running over to Josh and hugging the shit out of him. He settled for none of the above. 

"Josh, those people put so much time and effort and money to come see us play, and I won't let them down. The fans need me." He zipped up his bag and tossed it towards the door. 

"Did you hear me Tyler?" Josh asked, stepping closer. "I. need. you." Tyler tried to shrug it off, but Josh grabbed him by the shoulders. "Tyler, I can't live without you, okay?" 

Tyler sheepishly looked up at Josh and nodded. He knew if the roles were reversed he would be saying the same thing. He fell forward into Josh's chest, and Josh happily embraced him. 

"how about we talk about this in the mornin?" Tyler mumbled into Josh's chest, not wanting to argue any longer, but not willing to give up his tour.

"Okay okay," Josh laughed a little, then scooped Tyler up and threw him on the bed. 

"HEY!" Tyler yelled, although he couldn't help but smile. Josh simply jumped onto the bed next to him, and reached for the TV remote. 

"Ty, you think this thing has porn?" Josh joked, flipping through the channels.

"You're an idiot." Tyler said, grabbing a pillow and whipping it at Josh's face.

"scuse me? don't make me fight you Ty." Josh laughed, pushing the pillow away.

"Well fine. imma snuggle you then." Tyler said, intending it as a joke. But when Josh opened his arms, Tyler scooted closer and rested his head on Josh's chest.


End file.
